Why you should appreciate the man that left.

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I recently read a blog about “why I hate you” or something along those lines. If you haven’t read it the jist was what from I gathered a bitter 21 year old single mother listing reasons about why she hated her child’s father, including things like potty training, crying, and interrupted meals….

Now before everyone gets on the band wagon of thinking I’m bashing or speaking from an unknown source let me say this I’m 25 and a proud single mother of 2 gorgeous amazing children.

I was 20 when I had my son, so when he was 3 months I was 21, never did I have the desire to go out and just “be 21” because I wanted to be his mommy. His “father” left when I was 2 months pregnant!

Why do blogs like this make me angry?

1. How could you ever hate someone who gave you the BEST part of your life? The BIGGEST part of your life? If it wasn’t for that person whether the outcome was good or bad, you wouldn’t have that precious soul to wake you up or go potty with.

2. The tantrums aren’t forever, if you get that upset putting something back just because your child found something they wanted than your probably more selfish than you think; my children don’t even have to be with me for me to do that it’s in my nature as their mother to choose to brighten their day because they unknowingly brighten mine everyday. Waking up in the middle of the night? I come home from 14 hour shifts and on several occasions my baby girl has woken up; my heart fills because that’s a few more hours to spend with her, there’s red bull for the tired the next day but those couple hours can’t be replaced.

3. My son saved my life! No that’s not a metaphor. He literally saved my life. I was on a bad road full of depression, alcohol , and other things before  I got pregnant with him, I honestly felt like I had no purpose in my life and didn’t want to continue with it. Then he came; my brighter days, my reason, my purpose to work harder, do better, and to achieve more. That child was my saving grace!  I’ve cherished every moment he’s given me for the last five years, even the hard ones. And I’ve done it %100 on my own! I’ve never hated his father, not for leaving, not for what he’s been able to do, or anything in between. I’m thankful that he occurred in my life, if it wasn’t for him I would have never gotten my life and wouldnt have bettered myself as a person.

4. I work 50+ hours a week, attend school full time (online so I don’t have to spend more time away) , but most importantly I also single parent Full time and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m the first person they want when they wake up, I’m their cuddle monster, their boo boo kisser, their maid,  their playmate, their cook, their stylist, but most importantly I’m their mommy and that’s far better than “being 21”

5. The love you get from your child is unconditional, the purest and most honest form of love that you’ll ever receive, and if that doesn’t make you forget the Walmart fit or the nightmare I don’t know what would.

6. All that passes! Quickly too might I add, if you spend all your time being bitter about what you can’t do you’ll never have the time to be amazed with what they CAN do.

7. And lastly I appreciate the men that left me, why? They left me with all the kisses, all the hugs, all the sweetness of watching them grow and all the unconditional love I need to make it through another day; stronger, happier, and more willing to strive to do better to ensure that they know no matter what happens their mommy is always there to support them, comfort them, teach them, wipe up their messes and their tears, clean their clothes and brush their hair but most importantly love them unconditionally and remember that their blessings to my life everyday. Nothing melts my heart more than the sweet sound of “I love you” from the precious souls I’m lucky to call mine.

I’ve gained more than what people think they’ve lost while single parenting and for that I’ll always be thankful.

“Life’s not always beautiful but it’s a beautiful ride”